Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
