There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
