Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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