I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
