I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
being pregnant is like rehab
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
