Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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