somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
