Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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