Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
