He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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