ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
