Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
