I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
