We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
