ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
