You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
