you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
