So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
