READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
