i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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