and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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