some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize