Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
