Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
