I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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