She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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