Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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