why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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