Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
