and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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