I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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