Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
