making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
