What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
