I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
