He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
