He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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