just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
