so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
