Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize