Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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