Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
