I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You smell like stripper and shame
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
