I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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