you win again, gameday.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
