Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can you bring me the toilet please
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
my liver is dry heaving
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
