Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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