i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
