I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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