So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize