marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
