I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my being single is dangerous.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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