So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize