So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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