I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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