4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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