We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
