i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
