i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
This is my gift to your gina
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
