Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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