The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
