Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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