i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
