Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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