Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
