I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
