Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
