sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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