Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
