if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
