I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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