Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
