no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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