So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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