what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
