i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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