I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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